While we wait.

Today was relax day.


Woke up, watched a movie in bed, ate breakfast, put songs on my ipod, went back in bed to watch a movie, showered and now Kelsey is spending the night.

The trench

It gets "good" at about 3:30...

How one thing

can make everything good. Everything was good before. Just this one addition to my life, now I'm sure that everything is wonderful.


Remember when that mud-filled trench engulfed me?!

Funny funny funny you

You you you thinking you're some saint. Making me laugh, you really are good at making me laugh.

Atleast I'm not the only one that thinks so!

You're completely right.

And about who's in mind while you're thinking about that,

THAT'S a different story. It's you, It's you.






not me.

A myspace survey asked:

How do you know when a frien​d becom​es a best frien​d?​​​​​
when you can tell them when they look ugly, without fear of them getting mad at you. or when they're the only one you want to make plans with because you never run out of things to say or laugh at. or when they pay $10 dollars and a huge jacket for a really ugly cat sweater who's tails spell out L.O.V.E. (you got for 50 cents), when you hear/see something and turn to them (making eye contact) and you both know that you're thinking the same exact thing. then you immediatly start laughing so hard, while everyone else is slightly confused. when they're your only friend (but not in real life), when you both mutually agree on a regular basis that you're not friends anymore because you didn't see eachother every single day over the break (when you really feel closer than ever). when you don't care that your stomach is making weird noises. and lastly, you don't have to put up an act around them, you can be your complete self without worrying who they'll tell your embarrassing things to.




and I don't think I could have put it any other way.

This was fun.

Today was fun. Looking forward to tomorrow. The next day, too.
I miss you a lot.

Surprisingly (barely)

It had to happen someday.
It had to happen eventually.
It had to happen and it did.

Who knows what actually happened? But I really want to know, and I can't wait for you to tell me.



Strange. Right as I was finished with that sentence, you told me. I KNEW IT. It's all because of me. I finally find something great, and you want a share in it too. Big Big BIG surprise.

You brought this upon yourself.

You ruined everything, everything, everything. But most of all, you ruined us. You really could let something so strong go to waste, didn't think so, my "friend". When you want everything to turn around, back to the way things were when it began, don't come to me, you brought this upon yourself, and you're just going to continue to make this worse, and worse.

Nothing lasts forever,

Not even the sun. For all we know, it could have burnt out lightyears ago.
Nothing lasts forever.




Thanks, Brett Dennen, for your words.

You can't

be serious when you guys do that. Please tell me you're not. Please tell me you're not.



Right now: Listening to my brother and my mom, in the bathroom. My brother crying. And my mom trying to fix his bad hair day. His fault. Was it his fault?

Don't go away:

"Its weird how after i stop talking to you i get angry at everything and everyone.."




Then let's keep this up. Why not?

All the wonder.

From being super sick this morning, to coming home to a nice, relaxing house, this day just couldn't go by any more fast than it did.
So much happened today and last night, probably enough to happen through out an entire week.

I was wondering why there were helicopters circling around my backyard and neighborhood, search lights and all, last night. I guess my brother's school found the answer to that one today, during lockdown.

Mrs. El's mom didn't really die?! After three days "dead", praying and praying for your mom, she's alive again? I think that's one of the most bizarre things I have ever heard in my life, Mrs. El. And what an interesting class period. I didn't think you would ACTUALLY fight her, Natalie. But good for you. (:

Funny for me to think.

I actually thought you were going to ruin our friendship, when in reality, it only gave us another thing to talk about.

Now it's

Now it's easy, getting easier to leave this all behind.

The fun.

What's your excuse?

I'm really excited about my English project.

I hate sitting in second period, thinking about all of these things I can do when I get home from school. I plan out all of this, like projects I can start on, things I can make...but then I realize that I'm not even going to be home until tomorrow morning-ish. By then, I've forgotten everything. I need a journal, or planner of some sort to write all my To Do's, and such, in. Today: starting my very own journal. I know I have this blog, but I hate being so vague. I want to express every emotion running through my mind, with actual details...not just little things that make sense to me only. Luckily, I already have a pretty one I decorated over summer that I can use as my life holder. I'll name it, and bring it everywhere! I can't wait!

But don't worry, I'll still continue to leave meaningless, vague, and pointless posts on here.

I love how

THAT'S NOT ME AT ALL.



grow up.

I think about

the same thing every single time I'm about to post my blog.
You're going to read anything I say, so that's why I'm not going to.

Uh oh, oh no.

I should have known! Why did it never cross my mind until today when Delanie put the thought in my head.
Hm, better luck next time.

But, on top of everything

There's no way I can stop this. Didn't I know this was going to happen? I knew it all along.

Not being able to wait,

for the weekend to come, when it's only Tuesday. Not my cup of tea. I hate waiting, due to my impatientness. I have a feeling this will be a really, really great weekend.

I deleted the paragraph that was once in this spot.

Hello you,

I've officially given up. Have fun, have fun, and now it's your turn to try keeping this around.








I'm done.

A little creepy crawler

It looks as if the trees are singing and dancing. The pool water too. Like they're having their own quiet fun. All of it while we go about our daily activities and not noticing a thing but: the harsh winds, the Santa Ana's.



And ohh you were right. I should have listened. You were right, why?

Faking a smile,

I was always just faking that smile.

This is the day.

I love this secret we share. No one else knows but you, of course. Can it just stay like this? Can everything just stay as it is? Besides the improvement I'm expecting, I don't want anything to change.
But, I know that will all turn around with the help of one thing, as it always does.

And that just goes to

prove it.

I'm actually very, very, very

excited for my haircut on Wednesday. Is that a first?


Oh the things Maddi and I whisper about in her kitchen, late at night.

And finally:

Getting the talk, the "I'll tell you when you're older" talk. Only a small part of it, and not in so much detail as I expected. But, it finally got here. Finding out your parents actually had lives before you. They've been through everything. It all. Everything. That's how they find out what you hide. That's how.
I never knew you did the things I wouldn't even consider trying. I didn't think you understood the way I felt, like actually understood. But now I know. You were very, very like me, Mom. Almost to the exact.


I just hope I don't grow up to be like you.

Two down from here.

X marks the spot. All over, all over.





Missing the sunscreen smell. Missing the darker shade of skin. Missing the sleeping outside, and the only us. Evening it out, but still missing the refreshing popsicle after laying in the sun for hours. Opening my eyes, after all that time and everything was blue. Only us, only us, only us. Never thought I'd miss it, until it was gone...like it is now.
Not saying I don't like the way things are going now, because I love it. The differentness of it all.

Reading body language.

A new obsession. MY new obsession.